friends or not

yesterday i did a lot of errand running....most of it i had emily and gwen with me...we got to talking about friends. actually.....it was more about the lack of close friends and the abundance of aquaintances. sometimes....when you have a lot of aquaintances it can almost be a little deceiving at times....like you've got lots of people to depend on....lots of people who care.....i appreciate how close we are as a family....and value the fact that my girls are selective about who they confide in, who they "follow", who they call their best friends....if anyone....it's bittersweet actually because i think the crap our family has been through has given each of us a unique ability to see through people. of course i'd change a lot of things if i could but i am so thankful that my kids are wise about who they call their friends.......

*note to self: don't write about friendship when you are having an emotionally down week........so glad i just deleted the paragraph i just wrote......sigh.....i guess the good weeks wouldn't be "the good weeks" without crappy weeks to compare them to??

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purple vs yellow

This town has gone crazy......go steelers. He he



My blog posts have turned into "updates" because I am on a fb hiatus....I'm pathetic.

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tgif

That's all.

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stress

I don't like it. I just want my brain to turn off sometimes.....

Can't think. Can't write. Must not break 13 day streak of blogging. Will post something ridiculous.

There. I did.

Transparent masks....coming soon.

Tgif....almost.....

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mask of transparency......

Yeah......i'm going to write about that....how super transparent/wear my heart on my sleeve/what you see is what you get...kind of people....are sometimes the ones who wear the most complicated masks and have some of thickest walls........

More to come.......

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aaahhhhhh

I love love love from 4:30 until bedtime at home with my family.

Love it.

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one one one one one one one one one

Couldn't resist.........and yes....same post (maybe more exciting content) .....in ten months.....he he

Oh and i'm a little turned off by the fact that my mobile blogger droid mispelled separated......sheesh...

Oh another thing.....we have a one hour early dismissal today for the impending snow....ha ha.....that's so southern.....

One more thing......why is it that i really crave chocolate and/or chips when i have no money in my purse for the vending machine??

Yes....i'm supposed to be working.

Happy lots of ones day........he he.....it's the simple things.....

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it's raining men

......so, i'm having a technology fast.....well, it started out as technology and then i decided it would just be facebook and my smart phone (which i am way too addicted to).....i feel as though tv and the wii are not vices for me (yet) so i will allow myself those things in small increments of time....only after i've done productive things at home after work. we'll see how i do.....i already feel a weird sort of guilt because i'm abandoning my scrabble partner, and cousin stephanie....she's already emailed me to tell me it's been 19 hours since my last turn...... :/
So....i just need to do this to prove that i can....my will power is horrendous. i mean, it's made great leaps and bounds in some areas but in the insignificant areas....it stinks. are there insignificant areas of will power? if we can control ourselves in the tiny areas why can't we in the big areas? or vice versa in my case....weird.
so as i said i'm not giving up the wii....and here's why....one of my "areas" is exercise.....the girls are currently dancing to "it's raining men" on the wii....yeah....and just so ya know....that is what prompted me to write this post.........




here goes.......i made it one whole day without facebook or angry birds or excessive texting.......i think i'll shoot for two.

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hi jessica

Thanks for keeping up with my life........ :)

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13

gwen had her friend birthday today.......13 year old girls are cute. :)

i can't believe i have another teen-aged girl...wow time flies. i'm so proud of who she is and the character she has. it's so hard for kids these days.....yet gwen always stands her ground and does what is right. i'm not saying it's without tears, or humiliation at times, but she still stands up for what is right and tries to be an example to her friends......

i'm hoping and praying that i'll be saying these same words when she hits all the other milestone birthdays....16, 18, 21, 30, etc......

hmmmm....

i wish i had something notable to say. i don't.

i think my favorite part of the day was when emily took audrey and gwen with her and i got to do my shopping in peace. i wish i could say the same for when they do the dishes together..... :/

how much sibling bickering is normal..........??? sigh......

almost finished.....

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it's contagious.....

I'm buying more puzzles......

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this is the life....

.....all i can hear is the dishwasher swishing and my fish tank bubbling.....no tv....no wii...no music....just peaceful. Everyone just happens to be lost in something......
.....we took all the Christmas stuff down today......and now i'm sitting in a cozy clean living room watching audrey put a puzzle together.....there's just something about being simple (as i sit here typing a blog post on my phone)......i want things to be simpler. I want my kids to watch less tv....be on the computer less....write letters.....play with toys....color......i guess i just don't want them to grow up. It all happens too fast. .........maybe i'll institute a "little house on the prairie day" each week.....ha.

......i guess i need to start with me....time to sign off.....

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gwen

.....is 13 today
.....is a sweet, caring, compassionate child and always has been since she could speak
.....loves to make her family laugh
.....won't gossip
.....has a beautiful smile
.....is a packrat
.....sings like an angel
.....won't settle for second best
.....asked for homemade pizza for her birthday dinner
.....tends to be loud when she talks
.....loves soccer
.....hates soda
.....says "i love you" to each of us at least 4 times a day
.....has a quirky bedtime routine with audrey
.....is sincerely sorry when she needs to be
.....not really into cleaning
.....is my daughter and has made me a proud mom.

Love you gwyneth lacey

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senseless argument #1

this takes the cake.

the lottery is up to $330,000,000. my family was arguing on what we'd spend it on.

i'm convinced we will never win. sigh....

umbrella

i decided that i was going to blog every day this year. or at least try. :/

sadly. i feel like i do not have anything to write about. i got up. got ready for work....oh, the highlight of my morning was that i finally remembered to program our coffee maker, so i had coffee ready for dale to take to work, and some nice and hot for me as well....except that i didn't get mine until almost two hours after he left so the machine had turned off....hmmmm. it was still hot.....wow this is really dumb.

so....i went to work. it was an uneventful day. oh, a kid told me his step mom is rihanna. hmmmmm. i think she's the girl who sings "under my umbrella-ella-ella-ay-ay-ay...." yeah....i don't believe him of course. hmmm, that reminds me that i wanted to ask for a huge umbrella for christmas because the one i use at school to see the walker/car rider kids to their parents is really tiny. maybe i'll see if they are on sale.....wait, umbrellas probably never go on sale. weird.

weird monday. christmas holiday over. maybe tomorrow i'll have something interesting to write.....ella ella ay ay ay.......yeah, it's stuck in my head now......

journaling

sometimes i don't realize the value of journaling.(journaling isn't a word? well, i'm making it one.) a written record of....life. thoughts. hopes. disappointments. trivialities. it's a good thing to do it. it's a good thing to go back and read. for me at least.

so, i found a tiny spiral notebook in a little end table that was my grandmas that is now mine. it is a journal of a trip she took many years ago. i remember her asking me to read it to her when her eyesight started to go. she loved to read.....that was one of the things that was so sad as she started really going downhill physically....anyway.....all those times i read that to her, i never noticed that if i had flipped it over and read the back of the last page i would have found her notes on sleeping arrangements she had for a bunch of us....she had a bunch of names listed and locations where we would each sleep...during one of our many visits....

it may seem petty. but to me, it meant the world to have that in writing.....she gave and gave and gave. she has inspired me to be a giver. i want 2011 to be a year of giving for me.....time, money, hospitality, food, whatever....i really want opportunities to give.

so yeah.....i'm still thinking about her a lot.....i guess i always will.

one one one one with my number one

new years day
starbucks. barnes and noble. dale. kids laughing and dancing. clean house.
just a few highlights of an awesome day.

i love my family. looking forward to what i truly believe is going to be an amazing year.....

the hope within me is bursting to get out.....

movie time with my number one.

thinking...

i had too much caffeine yesterday. well, not too much......i just hadn't had any since sunday and my body had to readjust....meaning, i was wide awake for a while after i went to bed....thoughts spinning. the chain reaction of thoughts that race through my head is so amazing sometimes.........it's a bit annoying because sometimes i want to go back to the first thought and dwell on it a bit and i'm already on the fourteenth thought...........ah, i digress...

anyway, i got to thinking about christians. yeah. christians. i have a lot of guilt sometimes because we do not go to church faithfully....or at all....audrey is being raised churchless....whereas dale and emily went to church faithfully for quite a while, and gwen did for a couple years???? this weighs on me. but why???

guilt? who knows? it made start thinking about what i like about NOT going to church too........most of the people who want to know about jesus...are not attending church. i've gotten to share little bits and pieces of my beliefs with those people.....i haven't led any of them in the abc's of salvation or taken them down the romans road yet....but they know a little bit about what it means to be a christian at least....yeah, that guilt weighs on me too.....the whole sinner's prayer thing....or lack of sharing it...

when i think of christians attending church........i picture a race (this is the part that was racing through my head the most last night).....a race where they are each in a car or they are a car (the analogy is a bit fuzzy)....and jesus is at the head of the pack....they are all following him, not looking back....racing after him....trying to catch up to him......looking the best in their fancy cars......all separate from each other.....trying to out do each other....................................................then i think of the christianity that i'm trying to emulate so others will want to be a part of it......................this time i picture a hayride.........jesus is driving a tractor...with a huge wagon flatbed type thing on the back....huge.........i'm on it....sitting so i can see jesus but so i can also see the people behind me in the field...........they aren't on the tractor bed yet........jesus isn't driving fast.....he wants people to be able to hop on.............i can hold my arm out and if someone wants to hop on i can pull them on because we aren't in a race.....we aren't competing with each other............i just want the people to hop on with us because it's a wonderful ride.

anyway.............