family

beautiful, funny, unique, caring, helpful, exasperating, encouraging, silly, secure, comforting, fun, loving, devoted, christ-like, selfless......

So much more.

These are just a few ways i can describe ny husband and children....they've been a constant in my life and i'm so thankful for how they've stood by me.....i don't have a lot by the world's standards but i am so rich....really rich.....

They just make me really happy....that's what prompted this.....

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dreaming

i'll admit, i do not like dreaming....like the kind when you sleep....(i'm pretty good at daydreaming, and quite like it)....i had a dream last night that disturbed my sleep. when i sleep, i want to sleep. i don't want to watch some movie starring me.........i just don't. this dream was really weird too........senseless.......why can't dreams be prophesies.....or answers to prayers that are on their way???? to give us a little hope??

i fall asleep praying a lot and feel like my dreams should be peaceful because of that.....isn't that a fair trade off? fall asleep talking to god....have peaceful sleep. no dreams. i want to sleep and then wake up rested....

i'm tired today......i wish we didn't have to get up at 4:45 tomorrow....i don't like it.

two days til friday........what a dumb blog post.......

starbucks, target and girl talk

Yeah......that was my night.....well driving the girls back and forth all over columbia for their bible studies....picking up their friends...dropping off.....and in between.....starbucks, target and girl talk with deanna.....good times......especially the part where gwen's friend from school said she wants to go back.....

i'm exhausted 4:30 am til 10pm makes for a long day.....man i wish there was snow in the forecast tomorrow.......

Nighty night.....

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self control and the 10 year old

.....audrey asked me if she could buy a coloring book while we were in cvs today. she was, and still is, on cloud nine because she got 100% on a math test....her first 100% on a math test since probably second grade when she was moved into gifted and talented math.
....anyway....my policy...kind of a secret policy...is when my girls want anything old fashioned and/or creative...i will get it (within reason)......so we get home, do homework, eat, clean up and she breaks out the coloring book...but not before she hands me the above picture....she tells me to lock all the disney and nickelodeon channels.....she wants to take a break from them. and also wants to know if on demand can be locked. :)

.....it's amazing what a little less technology and tv can do in your family....(our computer died and ever since it did, we've been much more organized and productive).....

it was a pretty decent day...(well, em had a tough day actually and that made me sad)....girls made honor roll....helped out a lot....i had a couple simple prayers answered and i'm feeling content for the moment....ha

.....ahhhhh....i will NOT miss zac & cody.....:)

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superbowl 45

great fun and food with friends.....boring game...maybe because i really couldn't care less about either team. i just wish the superbowl wasn't played on a sunday night...don't they realize that most of the world has real jobs that don't pay millions of dollars to do something we really love doing?

 sigh........

john 3:17

....if i was going to the superbowl, i would hold that up.
.......okay, i actually wouldn't....but don't those people that hold up john 3:16 realize that people take it for granted? i would almost venture to say....well, i will say....that it's almost as much of an impact as "d-fense" or "hi mom"....maybe that sounds sacreligious but i wish people would be more creative. christian people in particular....not that i'm a super witnessing missional christian but i think sometimes those john 3:16 placard holding christians are more concerned about getting brownie points with god and other christians than really winning others to christ.

i just don't know what is the best way to share the gospel sometimes.....maybe the john 3:16 sign works??

i thought about posing a question on my facebook regarding this...hoping my friends who are not from my christian circles would give me insight.....but sadly i realized that if i did that the christian-ese would take over and scare people away.....

i'm a little cynical, no?

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tgif

this is yet another post..."just to post"....lame. i know....

i'm too tired to think...i'm posting from my phone....in line at walgreens drive through.....waiting....for ten minutes now....eh, it's better than waiting inside i suppose?

wish i brought coffee......

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my crazy family.......

this was just after a wrestling match between the girls....lots of laughing....all six of us just hanging out....talking....laughing....doing homework.....stuff.....

home sweet home

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groundhog day

who came up with it? why do people fall for it?

uh yeah, i can't think of what to write......

oh...i was really dizzy all day and got to thinking....i wonder if i have a tapeworm? ew....well....it's because i was dizzy, felt really weird, nauseous, sort of hungry yet nothing satisfied me....

huh, maybe i just need a snickers.......

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when prayers become wishes

yeah. i said it. prayers/wishes.....aren't they kind of the same? i mean, lately i feel like i'm wishing.....wishing because i don't know if i'm praying the "right" thing....asking in the "right" way.....or if i should even be asking at all....

i recently read an article in relevant magazine about prayer. one thing that stuck out was this.....try to pray without saying "i pray....blah blah blah".....it's hard. it's pretty much like saying, i want or i hope or i ask....not that it's a bad thing, but i started to feel like my praying was my list of requests too much. of course there are plenty of things i do want, mostly for others at this point in my life (guilt will do that to you)....but i truly want a better and more content existence for those i love.....life isn't fair....it ISN'T!!!! why is it fair that my husband has a jerk for a boss? i know his work ethic. it isn't fair.

i've been praying/wishing/asking/hoping that things would change....lots of things....some have....most haven't....i don't know how to pray anymore. is there a point to praying anymore? should i just say to god, "i'm done asking." i mean, he does know already.

what's the difference between praying and wishing? i found out this week. yes, i'm frustrated with unanswered prayers. VERY FRUSTRATED. (why am i smelling paint right now.....ugh)
anyway.....i started praying this week and consciously tried to leave out "i pray" or anything like that....i found myself being forced to give thanks more....and just be quiet....focus on god.

he knows what we need. as much as it hurts to see people i love struggling.....he sees it too, and i am pretty sure he's got a plan. yeah, i'll still ask for things....but for some reason, i have a lot more faith when i take time to thank him for the part of his plan that he's already unfolded....i don't always like waiting. um, i don't like the waiting.....but i think it's part of his plan...........

1/31/11

....well....i made it a straight month.
i'm actually quit proud of myself because i'm not disciplined....at all. like, pathetically undisciplined.
....i want a cat....the girls want a cat. they have decided to keep the house immaculate so that they can prove their discipline. they are better at it than i am.......the first floor of the house has been really nice for a long time. i don't know if we'll get a cat. but i really like it like this.
i cannot seem to get any coherent thinking down.....that's me i suppose. undisciplined. inconsistent. slightly lazy. unorganized. over thinking....i suppose it explains why i like extended ellipses......i never stop thinking......i think to much. not like smart, intellectual thinking....rambling, chain reaction thinking......and i write to get it out.....i write to hope someone will get me? i write to hope someone will know there's other people who have a lot of junk in their head..........

i have as many drafts as posts...........maybe those are the real me?

i need some coffee........

one twelth of 2011 is gone. i give it a "C"......better than failure...hoping for at least a "B" for feb....however know that is a lot to expect for the shortest month of the year......let's hope i'm wrong.

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church

we went there.
.....church is interesting. why do people go? i'm going to get up the nerve and ask that on fb sometime....but the trick will be getting some people to respond without all their christian-ese....
i really want to know why people go.

it was nice to sit still for an hour.....even if a lot of the time was spent making a mental to-do list for the week......

i wonder what would define the perfect church.....i wonder.....

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leadership collective

i decided to attend today so i could hear dale speak. as expected he did not disappoint.....this i know because i could see the people on the edge of their seats....hanging on every word he spoke. i teared up at one point because i miss seeing him in his element.
it was wonderful.
what was even more rewarding.....seeing people line up to prod his brain after he finished....questions...comments, even people asking him if he'd speak at their places of work.
it was surreal at times....i love hearing him speak....i hope it's just the beginning of a new beginning......

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ready for change

so tonight and tomorrow dale is taking part in a leadership conference at "our church".....(the quotes are because if and when we go to church, it's this one)....i'm an optimist. maybe i'm unrealistic? but i'm really hoping and praying that something great will take place at this event, for him.....um, for everyone of course.....but i'm really hoping he feels like this can be an avenue to finding a better job. yeah....did i say i'm an optimist? why not? there will be lots of people there, i think? i'm hoping someone there will say to themselves "why is this guy in construction?"......ah, this is where dale comes in.....i really hope he finds a way to drops seeds tonight....i want him to make it known that construction is NOT his greatest strength...although, most things that dale puts his hand too, end up being a strength.....i remember him telling me once that he wanted to learn how to play piano....i panicked because i knew ultimately, he'd be better than me...(not that i'm that good or anything anyway)

so......whoever the two or three people are that read this blog.....i don't even know if you are the praying type but i REEEEEEEEEEEEAAALLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY want this for him. i want a new career path for him. i want those connections made for him tonight and tomorrow. i'm just so tired of seeing him drained from a job that gives him no satisfaction or purpose. it's time.

http://www.gcchoco.org/LeadershipCollectiveRegistration/tabid/156/Default.aspx

snow day number two

I shoveled today.
I had four cups of coffee.
I watched "Chuck".

I kind of miss work.........

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snow day

Sleeping in....extra coffee...too many cookies....home made mac and cheese(for LUNCH!)....fresh sheets on the bed....clean bathroom closet....hearty shepherds pie for dinner....watched the girls build a snowman, with arms.....too much facebooking....two long phone calls....6 emails to friends & family.....clean kitchen....

all that's missing is dale having a job where he gets snow days too..................

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the lost art of talking

I just talked to a friend from work.....on the phone....for almost an hour.....i need to do that more......it's better than texting, email, facebook or any other electronic communication.

That's all for tonight.....

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my daughters

I had to work today but the kids were off....professional development...ha ha....i don't feel like i developed any further....anyway....emily dropped me off so she could take gwen and audrey to the park (yes, it was cold out....11 degrees)....so off we went in our separate directions.....she took them out to eat, to the park and then a little while later she texted me to ask if they could go to big lots. I said sure......not really knowing what they would do there because i know emily is low on money (in fact she is selling her itouch so she can travel to rhode island) i digress.....so fast forward....it's four o'clock.....they are at school on time to get me and unusually compatible, and giddy as well......we pull up to the house and they tell me to let them run in ahead of me. So gwen and i walk in, she's got her arm around me and i can tell they are all proud of something.
I'm actually getting a little excited during the brief walk from the car to the house.......i walk in to lots of "ta dahs".....now i had asked them to straighten up but this was amazing. they not only cleaned but also bought things to make the house just a little bit homier.....they organized....decluttered....put up pictures and all in all made my day and i'm sure my week......
my kids make me proud just because of who they are but it's a wonderful thing when your children go out of their way to give you joy. i may have had a professional development day today at work, but all those people with their degrees, masters and doctorates cannot hold a candle to what my children will add to my life......



....and now.....i'm off to clean the dinner mess......i gave them the night off....

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arrrrghhhhhhh! ugh!

i just typed a long post and it said error after i posted it from my phone.
grrrrrr.

i'll share it tomorrow.......i'm annoyed now.

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ah saturdays.....

...woke up to dale handing me fresh coffee....costco trip....didn't over spend....cozy house on a bitter cold day....bourne marathon....

Yeah.....i like it....aint got nuttin else to say.

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