when heart and mind collide
when pain and lies surface
when betrayal births pain
when hope is almost gone
when faith is a fairytale
when life seems over
when nothing seems real
when people fail
when tears never stop
when sobbing seems normal
when there is nothing left
when the other shoe drops
when the future is unknown
when disappointment is normal
when sleep is my friend
when laughter is a stranger
when goals are lost
when sin seems to have won

i will not give up....i will not let go....god is still here...somewhere.....waiting............in my latest moments of the deepest sorrow i've experienced......he has finally nudged me and said i'm still here........he hasn't really guaranteed me anything........but........i finally believe he is still with me...................i've never felt so scared in the past 5 months as i do right now.....but i think that is what he was waiting for..............................................