so masks of transparency....i just got to thinking recently....after chatting with yet another friend who is going through a marriage breakup....i was thinking....sometimes, people who are the most willing to share bits and pieces of their lives, in order to appear as open books...are often the ones who are hurting the most and burying it the deepest. i say this from experience. been there done that.....i have pin pointed and singled out a few friends recently....asking them point blank if they are "ok".....asking in a way where they knew i meant it. asking in a way where they knew i was ready for honesty.......then the masks came off.....the masks of transparency.....the masks i could see through because i led (past tense) a life of pretending.
i've prayed for a long time that god would use me. that he'd take the baggage, the crap, the history, the masks......and allow it all to make sense somehow....is it worth it?? .....to have the scars...so to speak...of hitting my own personal rock bottom and to have dragged my family along to hit head first and break the impact of my fall.....MEAN SOMETHING TO OTHERS?? is that fair? i don't know. i don't have the answers and this isn't even what i was going to originally write.....dumb android slowing my thoughts down....
anyway......for what it's worth....i still hope i can say something....see through the masks of those who are hurting around me....because sadly, many in religious circles have grown fond of masks...on others and on themselves.....it's easier to pretend to be what the status quo dictates we should be.....tough, resilient, "fine", oblivious....etc....
i'm not finished....my battery is dying and my eyes hurt........
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
