sometimes i'm embarrassed by the things i complain about.....i want to learn to shut up.
it's especially humbling when i have to eat my words. we went to salisbury university just under two weeks ago. it was freshman preview day. it was exciting, scary, sad, bittersweet....so many things for me, and i'm sure for emily as well. i felt old. i felt young. she and i sat in a few sessions, together and individually. we ate lunch. she chose her classes.
let me just say that she never doubted that she'd be there in the fall. i did.
she never thought about the money. i did.
she had faith. i did not.
about money.
and that disgusts me sometimes.
money is no bigger to god than keeping me breathing each day, and yet i make it bigger. i make it a bigger thing than most things. i want to let go of money.
after the last session we drove over to the financial aid office. walked in and were pleasantly greeted with a "how can i help you?" i asked if i could get the latest on her account....how much she had towards her 2011-12 school year.....the woman proceeded to write down each and every grant and scholarship emily had earned and then confirmed that she did in fact get the loan i was certain she would not get. :/
we will drop her off august 25.
god does what we cannot fathom or trust him to do.....he owns a cattle on a thousand hills. he knows the number of hairs on my head. yet i doubt him consistently.
i look forward to seeing what else he'll do........
