purple vs yellow

This town has gone crazy......go steelers. He he



My blog posts have turned into "updates" because I am on a fb hiatus....I'm pathetic.

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tgif

That's all.

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stress

I don't like it. I just want my brain to turn off sometimes.....

Can't think. Can't write. Must not break 13 day streak of blogging. Will post something ridiculous.

There. I did.

Transparent masks....coming soon.

Tgif....almost.....

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mask of transparency......

Yeah......i'm going to write about that....how super transparent/wear my heart on my sleeve/what you see is what you get...kind of people....are sometimes the ones who wear the most complicated masks and have some of thickest walls........

More to come.......

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aaahhhhhh

I love love love from 4:30 until bedtime at home with my family.

Love it.

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one one one one one one one one one

Couldn't resist.........and yes....same post (maybe more exciting content) .....in ten months.....he he

Oh and i'm a little turned off by the fact that my mobile blogger droid mispelled separated......sheesh...

Oh another thing.....we have a one hour early dismissal today for the impending snow....ha ha.....that's so southern.....

One more thing......why is it that i really crave chocolate and/or chips when i have no money in my purse for the vending machine??

Yes....i'm supposed to be working.

Happy lots of ones day........he he.....it's the simple things.....

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it's raining men

......so, i'm having a technology fast.....well, it started out as technology and then i decided it would just be facebook and my smart phone (which i am way too addicted to).....i feel as though tv and the wii are not vices for me (yet) so i will allow myself those things in small increments of time....only after i've done productive things at home after work. we'll see how i do.....i already feel a weird sort of guilt because i'm abandoning my scrabble partner, and cousin stephanie....she's already emailed me to tell me it's been 19 hours since my last turn...... :/
So....i just need to do this to prove that i can....my will power is horrendous. i mean, it's made great leaps and bounds in some areas but in the insignificant areas....it stinks. are there insignificant areas of will power? if we can control ourselves in the tiny areas why can't we in the big areas? or vice versa in my case....weird.
so as i said i'm not giving up the wii....and here's why....one of my "areas" is exercise.....the girls are currently dancing to "it's raining men" on the wii....yeah....and just so ya know....that is what prompted me to write this post.........




here goes.......i made it one whole day without facebook or angry birds or excessive texting.......i think i'll shoot for two.

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hi jessica

Thanks for keeping up with my life........ :)

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13

gwen had her friend birthday today.......13 year old girls are cute. :)

i can't believe i have another teen-aged girl...wow time flies. i'm so proud of who she is and the character she has. it's so hard for kids these days.....yet gwen always stands her ground and does what is right. i'm not saying it's without tears, or humiliation at times, but she still stands up for what is right and tries to be an example to her friends......

i'm hoping and praying that i'll be saying these same words when she hits all the other milestone birthdays....16, 18, 21, 30, etc......

hmmmm....

i wish i had something notable to say. i don't.

i think my favorite part of the day was when emily took audrey and gwen with her and i got to do my shopping in peace. i wish i could say the same for when they do the dishes together..... :/

how much sibling bickering is normal..........??? sigh......

almost finished.....

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it's contagious.....

I'm buying more puzzles......

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this is the life....

.....all i can hear is the dishwasher swishing and my fish tank bubbling.....no tv....no wii...no music....just peaceful. Everyone just happens to be lost in something......
.....we took all the Christmas stuff down today......and now i'm sitting in a cozy clean living room watching audrey put a puzzle together.....there's just something about being simple (as i sit here typing a blog post on my phone)......i want things to be simpler. I want my kids to watch less tv....be on the computer less....write letters.....play with toys....color......i guess i just don't want them to grow up. It all happens too fast. .........maybe i'll institute a "little house on the prairie day" each week.....ha.

......i guess i need to start with me....time to sign off.....

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gwen

.....is 13 today
.....is a sweet, caring, compassionate child and always has been since she could speak
.....loves to make her family laugh
.....won't gossip
.....has a beautiful smile
.....is a packrat
.....sings like an angel
.....won't settle for second best
.....asked for homemade pizza for her birthday dinner
.....tends to be loud when she talks
.....loves soccer
.....hates soda
.....says "i love you" to each of us at least 4 times a day
.....has a quirky bedtime routine with audrey
.....is sincerely sorry when she needs to be
.....not really into cleaning
.....is my daughter and has made me a proud mom.

Love you gwyneth lacey

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senseless argument #1

this takes the cake.

the lottery is up to $330,000,000. my family was arguing on what we'd spend it on.

i'm convinced we will never win. sigh....

umbrella

i decided that i was going to blog every day this year. or at least try. :/

sadly. i feel like i do not have anything to write about. i got up. got ready for work....oh, the highlight of my morning was that i finally remembered to program our coffee maker, so i had coffee ready for dale to take to work, and some nice and hot for me as well....except that i didn't get mine until almost two hours after he left so the machine had turned off....hmmmm. it was still hot.....wow this is really dumb.

so....i went to work. it was an uneventful day. oh, a kid told me his step mom is rihanna. hmmmmm. i think she's the girl who sings "under my umbrella-ella-ella-ay-ay-ay...." yeah....i don't believe him of course. hmmm, that reminds me that i wanted to ask for a huge umbrella for christmas because the one i use at school to see the walker/car rider kids to their parents is really tiny. maybe i'll see if they are on sale.....wait, umbrellas probably never go on sale. weird.

weird monday. christmas holiday over. maybe tomorrow i'll have something interesting to write.....ella ella ay ay ay.......yeah, it's stuck in my head now......

journaling

sometimes i don't realize the value of journaling.(journaling isn't a word? well, i'm making it one.) a written record of....life. thoughts. hopes. disappointments. trivialities. it's a good thing to do it. it's a good thing to go back and read. for me at least.

so, i found a tiny spiral notebook in a little end table that was my grandmas that is now mine. it is a journal of a trip she took many years ago. i remember her asking me to read it to her when her eyesight started to go. she loved to read.....that was one of the things that was so sad as she started really going downhill physically....anyway.....all those times i read that to her, i never noticed that if i had flipped it over and read the back of the last page i would have found her notes on sleeping arrangements she had for a bunch of us....she had a bunch of names listed and locations where we would each sleep...during one of our many visits....

it may seem petty. but to me, it meant the world to have that in writing.....she gave and gave and gave. she has inspired me to be a giver. i want 2011 to be a year of giving for me.....time, money, hospitality, food, whatever....i really want opportunities to give.

so yeah.....i'm still thinking about her a lot.....i guess i always will.

one one one one with my number one

new years day
starbucks. barnes and noble. dale. kids laughing and dancing. clean house.
just a few highlights of an awesome day.

i love my family. looking forward to what i truly believe is going to be an amazing year.....

the hope within me is bursting to get out.....

movie time with my number one.

thinking...

i had too much caffeine yesterday. well, not too much......i just hadn't had any since sunday and my body had to readjust....meaning, i was wide awake for a while after i went to bed....thoughts spinning. the chain reaction of thoughts that race through my head is so amazing sometimes.........it's a bit annoying because sometimes i want to go back to the first thought and dwell on it a bit and i'm already on the fourteenth thought...........ah, i digress...

anyway, i got to thinking about christians. yeah. christians. i have a lot of guilt sometimes because we do not go to church faithfully....or at all....audrey is being raised churchless....whereas dale and emily went to church faithfully for quite a while, and gwen did for a couple years???? this weighs on me. but why???

guilt? who knows? it made start thinking about what i like about NOT going to church too........most of the people who want to know about jesus...are not attending church. i've gotten to share little bits and pieces of my beliefs with those people.....i haven't led any of them in the abc's of salvation or taken them down the romans road yet....but they know a little bit about what it means to be a christian at least....yeah, that guilt weighs on me too.....the whole sinner's prayer thing....or lack of sharing it...

when i think of christians attending church........i picture a race (this is the part that was racing through my head the most last night).....a race where they are each in a car or they are a car (the analogy is a bit fuzzy)....and jesus is at the head of the pack....they are all following him, not looking back....racing after him....trying to catch up to him......looking the best in their fancy cars......all separate from each other.....trying to out do each other....................................................then i think of the christianity that i'm trying to emulate so others will want to be a part of it......................this time i picture a hayride.........jesus is driving a tractor...with a huge wagon flatbed type thing on the back....huge.........i'm on it....sitting so i can see jesus but so i can also see the people behind me in the field...........they aren't on the tractor bed yet........jesus isn't driving fast.....he wants people to be able to hop on.............i can hold my arm out and if someone wants to hop on i can pull them on because we aren't in a race.....we aren't competing with each other............i just want the people to hop on with us because it's a wonderful ride.

anyway.............

two weeks

wow what a couple of weeks can bring you through.....on december 11 i lost my grandma. something that has overshadowed the days leading up to tomorrow. christmas day. it's a tough thing when so many memories of my grandma are around christmas. i don't know when i'll be able to listen to "white christmas" by bing crosby again....maybe next year? i don't know...seeing that each and every christmas will now be a reminder of when she went to heaven.....it's a tough thing to pull christmas cards and sympathy cards out of the mailbox at the same time.....how am i supposed to process that? i still have trouble.....is saying "still" a little premature? it's only been two weeks. someone told me to move on, and have joy ...it that a little premature?.......

in these past two weeks i and my family have been on the receiving end of an incredible amount of generosity....to deal with our grieving, to have a happy christmas....like, incredible. like, feeling undeserving incredible..... i have been humbled beyond belief at the comments that have come along with the gestures of people i work with. people who don't profess to follow jesus. i want to be able to give in that capacity. i wanted to turn around and give more than we received....i pray that i can and will......i have not been able to process what to do with all the kind things that people have said about me....about who i am as a person....honestly, i don't get it....what do i do that's so special??? it's very humbling especially when i feel as though i just smile and am nice to people....is that enough? is that all people need?? that i would smile and be kind.....and occasionally do something tangible (not enough in my opinion) that it would be enough to have people treat me in this way.

i want to claim, and believe that every good thing in me comes from god and grandma.....is that wrong??

i am blessed beyond what i would ever expect...being an imperfect person.....a wife and mother who never feels like she lives up to what her family deserves.....i cannot fathom how god decides why or when we should be blessed with anything, tangible or not...........i pray that he would touch the lives of so many around me as he has touched mine.........with an amazing husband and kids who love me unconditionally.....with friends who look up to me and respect me........and with the peace and joy that only he can give.........

these past two weeks have brought tears of sorrow and tears of joy to my eyes.........almost daily.........i am overwhelmed by what god can do..........